انتشار شده در United States of America - بحث های سیاسی و تجزیه تحلیل - 13 Feb 2017 13:29 - 3
Issue 02 - Monday Edition (Don't Ask)
Around the world governments and their citizenry are gearing up for elections. Each and every Congress across the globe will be subject to the will of the voters in just two days. What a scary thought. Incumbents and first-time hopefuls are putting things into motion, greasing the right pockets and drumming up their bases of support ahead of what is rumored to be a historic election season for the United States of America in particular.
Not without opposition, there is a movement sweeping the nation known as the American Unity Party. It's an attempt to unify American government under one banner, so things run more smoothly and special interests win more frequently. Even if it sounds a bit worrying, worry not! Don't fall victim to the prideful arrogance of American individualism. Just go with the flow and everything will be okay. The American Unity Party, with complete totalitarian and unopposed control of the United States, will make life better for all of us.* That's the truth. Don't choose the wrong side of history on this one, folks. Surrender your flesh.**
Besides, I'm going to be doing my best to make sure the American Unity Party wins the largest majority it can in Congress by throwing my hat in the ring. I've formed an exploratory committee that, in only minutes of highly intense research, found all I have to do is declare my intentions to run for Congress. Of course, I have to pay off my Party Leader to make sure I get on the ballot in every region of our great nation, but that's here nor there.
So what do I have to lose? A seat in Congress apparently. But nothing else? I'm in.
FOR UNITED STATES CONGRESS
*The American Unity Party, in reality, has a solid plan to unify the nation and make government work for us. Check us out.
**You shouldn't actually surrender your flesh.
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